In a four-part series, psychiatrist Shyam Bhat decodes and helps you overcome the oldest ailment of all.

Why is a psychiatrist interested in the subject of love and heart break? Why is a doctor dispensing advice to the lovelorn, a topic that is usually the domain of pop psychologists and agony aunts? It's because heartbreak -the end of a romantic relationship -is potentially fatal. More than 25,000 people -most of them young-kill themselves in our country each year because of heartbreak. And countless more suffer after heartbreak -hurting in mind, body and spirit, feeling sad, depressed, angry, sometimes turning to drugs and alcohol; heartbreak can also linger later in life, breeding cynicism and emptiness. The more I explored this topic, the more it became apparent that far from being a trivial issue, heartbreak is perhaps one of the most significant emotional events that anyone can experience -and sadly, most young people have to understand and deal with their pain without guidance -their parents, usually, do not understand the nuances of the modern relationship, and many young people cannot even share this deep emotional situation with their family. The advice of friends is usually not objective. It is usually biased because of their emotional involvement.

So millions of people suffer from and go through heartbreak alone. Many find healing and happiness and emerge from the experience stronger and more loving. But, for many, sadly, heartbreak is a devastating turning point, leading to feelings of utter anguish, pain and despair. However, if we approach this experience in the right manner, heartbreak -like all great suffering - offers us an opportunity to become stronger, more compassionate and loving.

Over the next three days, I will describe what you can do to get over heartbreak, to heal your heart and love deeply again. The first step, in order to change any situation, is to understand it deeply. WHAT HAPPENS IN HEARTBREAK AND WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH?

Heartbreak is an emotionally devastating experience, and most people who experience it have never felt such pain before. People often describe their feelings to me as if they were feeling sensations in their body. The pain is real, they tell me. And they are right. The same part of the brain that is activated in physical pain is activated when you are suffering from heartbreak. In other words, as far as your brain is concerned, the end of romantic love is equivalent to your body being traumatized, as if a part of it has been brutally amputated. The same part of the brain -the caudate nucleus -that is connected to drug addiction is activated in heartbreak, causing obsession and craving. You feel bad just like the heroin addict who has not scored the drug, and I am not speaking metaphorically.

Research shows that the pain of heartbreak decreases when people are given morphine (I am not telling you to take morphine or any such drug; in fact, the risk of drug addiction during heart break is high since the body is craving release from the pain). Dr Helen Fisher, a psychologist who conducted path-breaking research in heartbreak, studied the brains of people who had been recently rejected by their partner, but were still in love. Dr Fisher scanned these people's brains while they looked at the photograph of their loved one, and then again as they looked at a photo of an acquaintance. She then compared the respective brain activity. The results were shocking: heartbreak seemed to cause the same brain changes seen in a drug addict who is withdrawing from powerful drugs such as cocaine. Both cocaine and being in love cause the release of a chemical called dopamine and stimulate a part of the brain called the mesolimbic system, the reward centre of the brain, causing an intense feeling of pleasure, ecstasy and euphoria. When love (or the drug) is taken away, the mesolimbic dopaminergic system of the brain slows down-the person comes crashing down from the high of love (or the drug), the brain starts to crave the jolt of dopamine and this is felt as intense pain, withdrawal and craving. Normal life, in contrast, now seems dull and colourless, and the cocaine addict and the heartbroken person will now intensely crave and seek the source of reward and pleasure. Other studies showed that heartbreak also depletes chemicals in the brain called endorphins - these chemicals are natural painkillers and the depletion of endorphins causes real physical and emotional pain. Heartbreak increases levels of the hormone called cortisol, which is secreted by the adrenal glands. This can cause weight gain, fatigue, body aches and pains, and a weakened immune system, which can make you more susceptible to cold and infections.

Although very rare, heart break can literally break your heart. A condition called Takotsubo cardiomyopathy can occur during times of extreme emotional stress such as heartbreak: when the mind and emotional heart are threatened and hurt, the body releases huge amounts of stress hormones such as adrenaline, which in large doses are toxic to the heart. In severe cases, these chemicals weaken and damage the heart muscle -the walls of the heart become thin and the heart swells like a balloon, unable to pump blood adequate ly, causing shortness of breath, chest pain and, on rare occasions, death.

Dr Shyam Bhat is the writer of How to Heal Your Broken Heart.